“So he goes, “I thought your birthday was tomorrow,” and I’m—like— ”well, duh!” Perhaps this bizarre pattern developed in analogy to childish phrases such as “the cow goes “moo” ” and “the piggy goes ” oink, oink.” Is there any young person unaware that the use of “go” to mean “say” drives most adults crazy? Granted, it’s deliberate slang rather than an involuntary error, but if you get into the habit of using it all the time, you may embarrass yourself in front of a class by saying something witless like “So then Juliet goes ‘A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.’”

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