Let’s say that, thanks to some stroke of good or ill fortune you become a werewolf. It’s great at first – your senses are heightened, you command obedience from every dog you see, and every full moon you get to tear up the lawn of your most hated person! But, after discovering that every full moon you grow hair faster than you can shave it off, you realize that this is really going to kill your social life to the point that it won’t take too long to organize a werewolf-hunt. So rather than kick the bucket, what’s a cursed person to do? Easy: they simply need to take a look at the following methods and choose the one that’s best for them. The methods are rated on the ability to access the method ("accessability"), how painful it is ("pain"), how fast it can remove the curse ("speed"), and an overall rating between one and five with five being the best. Many of these cures come from Brian J. Frost's The Essential Guide to Werewolf Literature.
- Method One: "Plunging into Water (Frost 9)".
- Description: The werewolf simply jumps into water.
- Marci’s Opinion: So is this running water? A pond? Lake? What time does someone have to jump into the water? Could it just be a tub of water? It seems to me that if a lycanthropic stream can turn someone into a werewolf, then it technically should be able to turn someone back, unless there is a body of water that turns animals into humans. Werewolves would have to be careful about the lake they choose, however: ballerinas are to be avoided unless a werewolf wishes to be cursed into turning into a swan by day, a human at night, and a wolf at every full moon.
Accessability Pain Speed Overall Finding a body of water is easy. It’s finding one that is free of leeches, pollutants, people and lake monsters that’s a bit more difficult. Fantasy writers often associate the element of water with shapeshifting, as water takes on the form of the container it is placed in. Based on the assumption that a werewolf takes on the properties of water when diving into it, it can be hypothesized that the werewolf does not take any pain in this reversal process. Since "plunging" is used by Brian Frost to describe the method, there is a high possibility that this method is one of the fastest. Overall, this method recieves a 4/5. Werewolves that enjoy being wolves are encouraged to stay away from water until they convince a buddy to try this method out, as it places a huge limit on where a werewolf can drive their prey to.
- Method Two: "Rolling over and over in the dew" (9-10).
- Description: Like the previous method, this requires the use and presence of water.
- Marci’s Opinion: This method can only be performed at night, as dew is the result of plants releasing their extra water during a process called "respiration." This cannot be performed in the day, as the sun causes the dew to evaporate very quickly. Since a werewolf is to roll around in it, it makes me wonder if they’re really supposed to roll over wolfsbane, the plant rumored to act as a poison towards werewolves.
Accessability Pain Speed Overall Easy, if the werewolf have access to an area with plants... But marginally harder if they’re a werewolf in a big city where there are too many muggers and policemen lurking within the local park. With the rolling action, it is believed to be a painless process as the werewolf is merely "shedding" their wolf-skin. The "over and over" bit was written by Brian Frost, which hints at the fact that a werewolf may have to do this several times. This method recieves a 4/5, as it is easy and painless, yet it seems that it must be preformed over and over again.
- Method Three: "Kneel in one spot for a hundred years" (10).
- Description: Just as Brian Frost stated – pick a spot, preferably isolated and alone from any and everyone, and kneel down for a hundred years.
- Marci’s Opinion: This method sounds more like a way to slowly starve a werewolf than to cure, although the method of death would work too... For a faster method, werewolves should hire someone to try one of these.
Accessability Pain Speed Overall Accessability depends first on the werewolf's ability to find an isolated, fortified location where he or she won't be interrupted. Secondly, it depends on how well the werewolf is apart from society: the more connections they have with other people, the more worried the other people will get after not hearing from the werewolf for a couple weeks which is followed by a police investigation and an interruption of kneeling in one spot for a hundred years. Aside from having unwanted guests and werewolf-hunters barging in on the werewolf, the werewolf also must put up with cramped muscles, no food, and no bathroom breaks. This method requires a hundred years. This would take a very, very long time. Overall, this method receives a 1/5. The demands for it are too high for a werewolf to comfortably take this route... Unless the werewolf happens to be the last person on Earth, with no other methods available and lots of time to kill.
- Method Four: "Being saluted with the sign of the cross" (9).
- Description: When greeted by someone, the werewolf witnesses the person performing the sign of the cross in front of them.
- Marci’s Opinion: This method is unbelievable. The gesture of the cross is performed by many background actors in films to ward off evil... And if it didn’t work for them, most likely it doesn’t work at all.
Accessability Pain Speed Overall If the werewolf is a countryside hermit, methods one or two with the water would be easier to perform than this. The easiest way to get someone to perform this gesture is to wait outside a Church’s gate, where people from inside the building will make the cross several times to ward the werewolf away. Since this is just a gesture, it does not appear to be as painful as other ways to reverse the shapeshift. Holy water, on the other hand, has the rumored properties to take on acid-like qualities when it encounters "evil spirits," such as vampires, zombies, and werewolves. Assuming that the werewolf is in wolf-form, high-tailing it to a nearby Church and howling outside tends to turn heads quickly. 1/5. This gesture has been proven by many Hollywood movies to fail.
- Method Five: A werewolf must hear their baptismal name being called three times.
- Description: This requires the assistance of a non-werewolf. This non-werewolf merely has to call their werewolf-friend three times by their baptized name.
- Marci’s Opinion: In fairy tales, names had power. Take Rumpelstiltskin for example: he lost his share of a fair bargain when the protagonist(s) of the two versions of the same story he stars in discover his true name. The baptized part of it comes from the belief that those who are baptized receive protection from lesser evils. The calling of the name three times (the Trinity in Christian lore – the Father, Son and Holy Ghost perhaps?) seems to invoke that protection and enlarge it.
Accessability Pain Speed Overall This requires a werewolf to develop a deep trust with a non-werewolf that is so deep that the non-werewolf won’t give the werewolf’s name and address to the nearest werewolf-hunter. Since it’s just their name being called, the only pain that can come from this is if the werewolf really, really hates their name. Varies depending on how long the werewolf’s name is and how clearly the non-werewolf can pronounce it three times. I rate this method to be a 4/5, with the only difficulty in finding someone to assist in breaking the curse. Other then that, this method is fast and seemingly pain-free.
- Method Six: "Struck three times on the head with a knife" (10).
- Description: With the assistance of a friend, relative or complete stranger, the werewolf gets hit three times (Christian Trinity again, anyone?) on the forehead with a knife.
- Marci’s Opinion: Considering the use of language (notably "struck" and "knife"), this method sounds a bit painful. Struck implies something getting hit pretty hard, and "knife" refers to a small blade that is used mainly for cutting things. Most likely the person striking the werewolf gets to hold the handle part, and depending on how much the striker likes the werewolf... It can be either the sharp edge or the flat of the blade that gets to smack against the werewolf’s forehead.
Accessability Pain Speed Overall Like the previous method, this one requires the assistance of a non-werewolf. The more trusted someone is with this task, the less likely the werewolf will be struck with the edge of the blade. Unless the werewolf gets the edge of the blade and the person they are getting the blows from is strong, then at most the werewolf will have a bruise. Varies – how fast can a werewolf find someone to fit the criteria, and how fast are the blows? This method receives a 3/5 for the risk involved in being hit with a knife and the ability to find someone trustworthy enough to strike with said knife. - According to Elliot O’Donnell, author of Werewolves, an alternative method was to combine the above three methods. Thus, the werewolf would first be "saluted with the sign of the cross," then struck three times on the head with a knife while being called his or her baptismal name with each blow with the knife (72).
- Method Seven: Death
- Description: Please refer to the How to Kill a Werewolf for more information.
- Marci’s Opinion: This method is a recommended last resort for werewolves who are tired of life.
Accessability Pain Speed Overall Depends on which method of death is performed on them. Varies on the method. Depends on the method and the efficiency of the method. This method receives a 3/5. While it does work, it comes at the cost of killing the werewolf and making sure the werewolf doesn’t come back as a potential vampire.